Friday, August 29, 2014

Of Pools and Puke: A Mother's Tale

Here is a timeline of my last 12 hours:

7:00 p.m. - Lendel picks me up for the company pool party
7:30 p.m. - The gates open at the pool and we rush in to get free Costa Vida
7:45 p.m. - Our stomachs are full, and we go change into swimsuits
8:00 p.m. - We are having a blast in the water! Lendel decides to go on the water slides
8:15 p.m. - Nash is freezing cold, so I decide to take him out of the water
8:16 p.m. - Nash spits up a little, so I head to the edge of the pool
8:17 p.m. - Nash starts blowing chunks all over me and him
8:18 p.m. - I book it to the locker room, trying to hide the fact that my face is covered in vomit
8:20 p.m. - I'm still trying to get all the vomit off of Nash and myself, while chunks start to clog the drain
8:22 p.m. - Nash is naked and shivering while I try to get us both dressed
8:25 p.m. - We meet Lendel outside, who has no clue what has transpired over the last 10 minutes
8:26 p.m. - Nash starts puking again, luckily next to a garbage can
8:30 p.m. - On our way home, I'm in the back seat with Nash in case he pukes again.... he does
8:40 p.m. - Lendel has Nash by the toilet since he keeps puking
8:42 p.m. - I bathe Nash to get the puke smell off
8:45 p.m. - I follow protocol when it comes to situations like this:
                                1. Call Mom
                                2. Google "what to do if my 1 year old is vomiting"
                                3. Call aunt with young kids to verify what above sources have said
9:00 p.m. - I am at Wal-Mart, grabbing the Pedialyte popsicles, my hair still smells like vomit
9:15 p.m. - I get home and find Nash asleep in Lendel's arms
9:20 p.m. - We make a bed for Nash in our room and put him down for the night
11:00 p.m. - I finally get to take a shower to get rid of the puke smell in my hair
1:30 a.m. - Nash wakes up crying, so we give him some Pedialyte in a syringe
5:30 a.m. - I'm exhausted and delusional, and realize Nash is starving so I give him a bottle... of milk
5:35 a.m. - Nash vomits ALL over his own head and the bed we made for him
5:40 a.m. - Bath time again, this time it takes a while to get the puke out of his hair
6:00 a.m. - Make a bed for Nash on the couch, and give him a bottle of Pedialyte, he chugs it
6:05 a.m. - Nash pukes up the Pedialyte he just chugged, luckily it only gets on his shirt
7:00 a.m. - Nash has been sleeping better for the last hour than at any point in the night
7:30 a.m. - Lendel goes to Wal-Mart to buy saltines so the poor kid can eat something
8:00 a.m. - I wash a load of laundry consisting of puke-covered goodies:

  • 3 towels
  • my beach towel
  • his swimsuit
  • my swimsuit
  • 1 pillowcase
  • 1 crib sheet
  • 1 crib mattress protector
  • 1 blanket
  • 3 pairs of jammies
  • 2 washcloths
Now he is happy as can be and running around the living room causing trouble.
Oh the joys of motherhood!

1 comment:

  1. I thought the aunt told you not to give him milk and to not let him chug the Pedialyte? ;) Sorry Nic! Sick babies are the worst. But, you are sure good at telling stories!